Are You Leading From Who You Are, or Who You Are Not?

Susan S Freeman Blog

“Are you leading from who you are vs who you are not” is not the riddle of the Sphinx, but a serious probe into your state of awareness around work, relationships, and your life as it is.

Consider these shocking workplace realities:

  • 51% of “A” players are actively looking for another job

  • 80% of people never use their greatest gifts at work

  • Worker engagement is at an all-time low; 30% in the US and 11% worldwide.

  • 75% of ALL illness is stress-related

Leading by ListeningWhat might these numbers be telling us if we are engaged enough to listen?

I believe the data is an indication that we are dis-connected to our cares; we are separated from our true self – the one that has gifts and  passions, yet perhaps not yet the clarity to act upon them.  I believe the data is telling us that we have become addicted to “getting ahead” in the future, while ignoring what we already have in the present.  The problem stems from a focus on the future being somehow more important or valuable than the present. It stems from beliefs that we are not enough right now, that there is something wrong that will be righted at some later date, and then we will like our job, like ourselves, and like others.

I believe the data presents a plea for us to do something about the quality of the life we have right now.

When we learn to master our connection to our self, we can truly connect with others.

Leading from who we are means engaging with our self, then we will engage at work.  When we access our gifts, they spill out into everyday activities and encounters.  When we learn to relax from our state of “high-alert,” we have abilities that were previously blocked from our visibility.  When we can truly listen to ourselves, we listen far better to others.

Leading by ConnectingWhat does it take to begin to connect?

  1. Create an awareness of what isn’t working.  Pay attention to: your energy level, moods, emotions, how you stand, sit, and  hold your body.  Observe your habits.

  2. Have a desire for something different

  3. Be open to new ways, including vulnerability.

  4. Engage in process of powerful questioning; alone or with a trusted partner

  5. Commit to practice supportive habits and be accountable

Tip:  When you feel stressed, agitated or annoyed with someone else at work, rather than feed the agitated state, break it up!  Breathe deeply from your belly for a few minutes. Flood your nervous system with fresh oxygenated blood and “feel-good” neuro-transmitters. 

The body was designed to relax IF you allow it.

As you enter a more relaxed state, your awareness will be heightened.  You will access your capacity for visualization and intuition.  Solutions you didn’t see before are now visible.   You may see that the listener you have been up until now was not fully available to the other person, and that the source of conflict is within you; not external to you.

The stress, agitation or annoyance you felt earlier has dissipated.   You are able to address the situation with openness, curiosity, and acceptance.  This shifts the dynamic of your relationship completely. 

You are learning to lead from who you are and not from who you are not.

Look.  Listen.  Connect.

The solutions that work are there in front of you if you can stop and allow them to unfold.

How have you used these techniques effectively? Are you still struggling with connecting? Share your stories below.  If you would like more information on how to evolve into your effortless, natural leader, sign up for a complimentary “BreakThrough Your Barriers Strategy Session” today.

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